The Hunger Games- Alec's Sacrifice and Magnus' loss
by Lauretania
Summary: When Max Lightwood is called to become district 12's youngest tribute, Alec has no choice but to volunteer in his place, but when Alec's best friend is also called into the Hunger Games, how on earth is Alec supposed to choose between killing Magnus Bane and living? Or is it really a choice at all? Malec, obviously. A malec hunger games, what more can you want, The mortal games!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys- we have got to stop meeting like this- so this was a surprise huh? Well, I've had this idea in my head for a while and thought I'd try it out, but I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it or not :/ let me know what you guys think; I'm not sure. Anyways, hope you like this as I don't think this exists yet and I think it should. As always, please read, review, fangirl, and I hope you have a great day/night!**

Alec Lightwood was the son of an artist and a doctor, however his parents had died when he was very young. District 12 had never been the same after the purge. Some sick vigilantes had decided that enough was enough. A hunger games could only work if there was a young girl and boy from the district, and the game keepers knew it. President Snow knew it too. And so, that was when it happened. Around three to four months ago, while most of the men, including Alec were out of the village, they struck. Rounding up all of the young girls in the town, and taking them away. Alec's younger sister Izzy was taken too. He never saw her again, and has never forgiven himself either.

He had been out hunting in the woods at the time, trying to catch a deer, since he knew it was Izzy's favourite. And now she was dead, and Alec would never see her again. But Alec's heart filled with dread today for a whole other reason. Today was the day. The day of the reaping, and Alec's name was in 62 times. Not only did he have to put in his name once more to make up for Izzy's death, or rather the fact that she couldn't participate which was just sick, but the rest of it was to get enough food to feed his other two brothers, Max, and Jace. There was also the fact that everyone a year older than 18 and a year younger than 12 also had to put their name into the reaping as a punishment this year. _Stupid vigilantes. In trying to save us, they have killed us more than they know._

It wasn't the fact that Alec's name was in so many times that bothered him. It was the fact that his younger brother Max would be in the reaping too. He was only just 11, and Alec cursed Max's specific birthday every day for happening when it did. If it had only been a week later, Max wouldn't have to suffer this.

Alec got up, surveying the woods. He hadn't killed anything, but he had been hoping to meet Magnus before the reaping. No such luck. Clearly, Magnus was really, really annoyed. Being 19, Magnus wouldn't have had to take part in the games under the usual rules, just like Max, and yet, here he was. It was so unfair.

Alec worried for him too. Magnus and Alec didn't actually know each other too well, they had only met a few months ago, unified by a need to survive, and also because Alec had really needed someone to talk to the day the met. It had been the day Izzy had been taken from him. She had been the only person to truly know who Alec was, to know every secret about him. Now, that person was Magnus.

He had just been about to give up on ever finding Magnus when he came into view, his face the irritated and worried expression that Alec had been expecting.

He hugged Alec close when he approached.

"I'm sorry you have to go through all of this again." Alec said, after they had sat down side by side.

"It doesn't matter. I'm an only child, remember? I don't have anyone to miss me." He said, laughing bitterly.

Ah yes, the story with Magnus' dad. Magnus' home life was far from ideal now. Ever since his mother had died his father had turned to drink, blaming Magnus for her death, even trying to drown him one time. For this reason, Magnus spent a whole lot of nights in Alec's room, after climbing through the window. She had not died like the others. It was suicide apparently. Alec didn't know as much about that as he would like, but he didn't like to push Magnus. It was his business.

"I'd miss you." Alec said, and Magnus smiled, resting his head on Alec's shoulder.

"How many times is your name in today?" Alec whispered.

"Once." Magnus answered, sounding confused, as if it didn't make any sense for his name to be in more times. Alec let out a shuddering breath.

"Why?" Magnus asked, moving his head off of Alec's shoulder, and turning to face him, "How many times is your name in?" He asked, worry all over his features.

Alec couldn't look at Magnus then, guilt and shame and sadness rolling over him.

"It doesn't matter." He tried, "It's ok as long as you and Max and Jace are only in once." He said, glad that those closest to him were as safe as he could make them.

"Alec. How many times is your name in today?" He asked again, using a soft tone one would use with a deer.

"62" He whispered, and heard Magnus gasp. He couldn't look, just kept his guilty stare fixed on the grass in front of him. It was both selfish and selfless for him to do this, to spare the people closest to him so much pain but also to inflict so much pain onto them.

"No..." Magnus breathed, and Alec finally looked at him, shocked to find a tear rolling down Magnus' cheeks, his mascara cascading into a droplet of beady, watery black. It was the only make-up Magnus had-it had been his mother's. There was no way anyone could afford such a luxury now.

"I'm sorry. But I'll be fine. 'May the odds be ever in your favour' and all that." Alec said, forcing a reassuring smile onto his face as Magnus hugged him close.

"But the odds _aren't_ in your favour, Alec." Magnus whispered brokenly.

"It doesn't matter, everyone I care about is as safe as I can make them." Alec insisted.

"Is Max doing ok?" Magnus asked after a while of pensive, sad, silence.

"No, but there's no way he's going in, even if his name gets called. I won't let him go."

"Oh Alec..." Magnus whispered, whipping his now red and blotchy eyes.

"You're my best friend Magnus." Alec said, feeling a need to say it, as if this would be his last chance.

"What about Jace?" Magnus whispered in mocked shock. Alec grinned.

"Promise not to tell?"

"Of course! Just for the record, you're my best friend too. And you're so much more than that as well."

Alec grinned an unsure grin, not sure what he should say.

Xxx

 **Alec POV**

Max had been terrified, and it had taken around 10 minutes for Magnus, Jace and I to coax him out of the house. Eventually Jace had gotten a little frustrated- he was very clearly really nervous- so I sent him away to get in line, while Max hide himself into my shirt in fear, and we made our way to the line more slowly, me holding Max close, and Magnus gripping my other hand, whispering words of reassurance to all three of us. I wasn't actually sure who the reassurance was for, but I appreciated it all the same.

We were soon all signed in, and luckily we're allowed to stand together in the plaza full of boys, as Effie Trinket walked onto the stage towards a single bowl filled with names. It still hurt, even the little things like the girls' bowl just not existing any more. I really missed Izzy. Jace stood the furthest away from me, in what's known as 'the unlucky spot' ie, the closest to the aisle separating all the boys. It meant he had even less time for someone to volunteer instead of him. But he didn't need to worry, I would volunteer for him instead if it came down to it. I was still terrified however.

I felt Magnus and Max squeeze my hands. I looked over at Max and gave him a comforting smile. Magnus did the same for me, whispering to me to ask if I was ok. I just nodded.

We watched the propaganda vids of course, with Magnus next to me impersonating their stupid voices and making me laugh really loudly like an idiot. He's going to get arrested one day, just for doing things that no one else will dare to. Jace joined in with him though, just loud enough for the kids nearest to us to hear, but not the peace keepers.

Once the vids were finished, Effie made her speech about 'how awful it was that all out sisters and daughters and mothers have died' and that 'the capitol will always be here' blah blah blah. I admit I may have tuned her out after a while. It made me less likely to punch her. That was until I felt Magnus nudge me back into reality. And thank _god_ he did.

"So this year, due to this horrible tragedy, we will be entering two boys from this district, instead of one. So lets get going shall we? And may the odds be ever in your favour."

Magnus stiffened beside me. I could practically hear him doing the math.

62 times. That's practically 62 times two, my name is practically in 124 times.

"124 times..." Magnus whispered, looking at me with a look that could only be described as fear.

"I'm not going anywhere." I promised. Squeezing his hand, mimicking his movement for a few moments ago. I could see Jace looking at me with a worried expression too. He was Mr Popular at school, so he knew how many times other people's names had been put into the bowl. I practically had to beg him not to tell me, else I might want to take it back.

I didn't regret it. If all went to plan, that food would feed us for _months._

I looked down at Max, squeezing his hand too.

"Everything's going to be alright kiddo." I said, ruffling his hair a little bit, and he leaned closer to me.

"Alright!" Effie announced, "For the first boy," She said, making a big show of rummaging her hand around in the bowl and pulling it out, before walking back towards the microphone stand.

"The first tribute for district 12 is..." She said, pausing for dramatic effect as she opened it, "Maxwell Lightwood."

I froze. The world stopped and I froze. I couldn't move, couldn't even comfort my little brother as he bravely resisted the urge to cry, pushed past me, and Magnus, and Jace and started the slow walk up to the stage.

A few older kids gasped, and Magnus frantically tried to stop me from doing what I knew I had to do next.

"Please Alec, please don't, Please!" He begged, but I pushed past him desperately.

"I'm sorry Magnus."

"I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER!" I screamed desperately, "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!" Pushing past the peacekeepers trying to hold me back, and running forward to gather Max in my arms, who finally broke down and cried.

"No... No no no no you promised Alec! You promised me! Don't go! You can't!" He cried, trying to push himself out of my arms. That was when Magnus stepped forward and hugged us both.

"Please take care of them Magnus, whatever you do don't let them starve." I asked him desperately, thrusting Max into his arms.

"I promise Alexander." He whispered, before stepping back into the crowd of people, letting Jace take Max from him.

I saw the tears in Magnus' eyes as I finally looked down at my fellow children from the stage. I was shaking.

"Why, a volunteer! I believe... yes... District 12's _very first volunteer_." Effie said in surprise, as she led me to stand in front of the microphone with her.

"So, dear, what's your name?" She asked, and I didn't take my eyes away from my family, my little family that I had saved.

"Alexander Lightwood." I whispered, not able to make my voice go any louder, I was still in shock. I was going to die. And I wasn't ready.

"Well, let's give a big warm welcome for district 12's very first volunteer; Alexander Lightwood!" She said, but instead of clapping, each and every member of the crowd kissed three fingers on one hand, and held it out to me.

The first person to do it is Magnus, with tears in his eyes. Then Max, then Jace.

Every member of the crowd follows his lead. This is a symbol usually seen at funerals; it is a thank you, a sign of admiration,

But it is also, a goodbye to someone you love.

I feel tears rising in my eyes, and cannot look away, instead I kiss three fingers on one hand and hold it out to them, saying goodbye to those I hold most dear, to my family who is finally safe. I breathe a sigh of twisted relief.

"And now, for the second." Effie says, and I hold my breath. Max is safe now, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.

"District 12's second tribute is... Magnus Bane!"

I can't breathe. This can't be happening. His name is only in once it's so unlikely it doesn't bear thinking about... it _can't_ be.

But as he walks up to stand opposite me on the stage, I know it's true. I let the tears spill over my cheeks, and try not to sob. Not here, in front of all these people. I won't give them the satisfaction of seeing me break. Magnus smiles at me, he doesn't seem afraid. If anything, he seems glad to be here with me.

Doesn't he see? We might have to _kill_ each other at one point. I can't do this. I can't. I can't. I can't.

"Go on you two, shake hands." Effie says, and as we shake hands, the tears I have been trying to stop drip over Magnus' tanned fingers, and he looks at me with such sympathy in his eyes that I fear I might actually break.

The peacekeepers go to drag us away, and I panic.

"No! NO! I get to say goodbye! I have to say goodbye!" I demand, but they ignore my protests.

Xxx

The room they lock me in is not unpleasant, but I feel trapped, and I don't know how to get out. I don't know how to get out of any of this. It feels like an hour of waiting but finally Max and Jace enter my room and are allowed to see me.

I hug them both close, not wanting to let go.

"I don't want you to go Alec, I don't want you to go." Max cries into my shirt, and I hold him close, cherishing this one moment that the game makers will let me keep.

"It's ok Max, It's alright." I told him.

"I-I-I brought you our sketchpad... I know- I know you're not usually allowed to bring things, but I thought it would remind you of me, and Jace and... and I-Izzy andM- Mum.." He said, holding it out to me, and I hugg it to my chest, stroking the thick spine. It is one of the only true things we actually have of Izzy and Mum.

"Max... are you sure?" I asked, touched that he would even consider it.

"We're sure." Said Jace, hugging me close,

"You can win this." He whispered, "No brother of mine is getting beaten." He said, smirking.

I looked down.

"It's more than a game Jace." I whispered.

"It doesn't matter. You're stronger than they are. I don't care what you think. You can do this."

"Thanks Jace." I said, hugging him one last time before turning to Max.

"I don't have a pencil, but I'm sure the capitol can give you one and-"

"Max." I interrupted, "This is incredible, thank you so much. Is there any way for me to repay you?"

"Just, try to win, ok?" He asked shyly, as if I wasn't already going to try.

"Of course Max." I said, smiling, and giving him one last hug as the peacekeepers arrived at the door ready to take them away.

"Just one more moment. Please." I asked, and they nodded. I hugged Max close, and Jace too, and whispered in Jace's ear,

"You know as well as I do, that if it comes down to killing Magnus in there I can't do it. I won't. And if that happens, promise me, you'll take care of Max. No matter what happens, you understand?" I asked, another tear spilling over.

And that was the first time I ever saw Jace Herondale cry.

"I promise." He choked out, as the peacekeepers came to take them away.

"I'll see you soon, ok? I'll see you real soon." Jace said, and then he was dragged away, and the door was locked behind them. I hugged our family sketchbook to my chest, it being my most beloved possession now.

It can't have taken them more than 2 minutes to come back and usher me into the train.

And those 2 minutes were not enough for preparing me for seeing Magnus again so soon.


	2. Chapter 2- The chariots

**A/N: Hey guys, so I hope you like this chapter, I had a whole lot of fun writing it. I'm going to go have dinner now, so curl up, grab a hot chocolate, read, fangirl, and enjoy! Oh and review too! Damn it I messed my line up! Anyways, see you next chapter, still not really sure if what I'm writing is any good, but you seem to enjoy it, so... Anyway, see you in the review section. I hope. Hope you have a great day/night!**

 **Alec POV**

Entering the train is so surreal. It's like stepping from hell into heaven. Every surface is a glittery, silver colour, and I think to myself how much Magnus would love it, and then it all comes tumbling back to me, all over again. Another blow to the chest. As the white-suited peacekeepers push me further through the train carriages, their guns to my back, I grasp the sketchbook even tighter to my chest. It's too big for them not to notice it, but no one had ordered it away from me yet. I hope I can keep it, or at least if I have to get rid of it I hope I can at least send it back to Max and Jace, I don't think I can bear it if they don't get it back somehow.

The idea that I might die in the games is something that I can't really get my head around, but an even bigger concept is the idea that I might kill Magnus in my feat to survive. It's such a sickening idea that I fear I might have to stop walking and throw up, I can feel my head spinning, the images of blood and the light leaving Magnus' eyes washing over me in a torrential storm.

Eventually we reach what can only be described as the main living cabin. It is silvery, like the rest of the train, and I'm ushered into a cushioned chair like none I've ever sat in. The table before me is littered with cakes and drinks and food I've never seen or smelt or heard of before. _Magnus is going to love this_. I think to myself, knowing just how much he loves the little luxuries like strawberries or my tattoos that we work so hard for.

He's not here yet, which I don't understand, as horrible as it sounds, who is there to say goodbye to him? Still, I try not to dwell on it too much, wrapped in my own little world as I flip through my family's sketchbook. I asked for a pencil and was now waiting for it, stroking my hands lovingly over the pages. Max's drawings of the squirrels are a rich brown colour, the grassy background so vivid I can almost breathe it in. I was never cruel enough to tell Max that we ate squirrels for dinner so often. Jace seemed obsessed with buildings and the natural landscapes that surrounded our little village, saying that buildings had no feelings and neither did trees, so they were easier to draw.

As for me, I took after my mother. Living things were my forte, I could draw animals, though not quite as well as Max, probably as I was used to killing them so much with my bow, which meant that I almost always wanted to draw them with that petrified look on their features. That moment where they knew they were going to die.

No, my real speciality was people. There was just something about hair that flew in the wind, or eyes that were so bright when people laughed; just the way people move and talk and feel and _are_ is so fascinating to me. People very rarely see their own beauty, but with a pencil and a page I could record every beautiful feature they had in perfect clarity. Isabelle had always been a brilliant model, and so there were lots of sketches of her.

I remember the first time Jace met Clary, and how he was entranced with the way she drew things, and how once I helped him draw her in this book. The picture was still as vivid and detailed as if I had drawn it yesterday. I missed Clary a lot, actually, even if she was slightly reliant on us, she made Jace happy, and that's all I really wanted.

He was probably the most devastated by the purge. He lost his mother, his sister, and the girl he had planned to marry. It was too tragic for anyone to endure, but Jace had always pretended not to love too deeply, claiming it was a weakness.

It worries me sometimes. Just as I was settling into my thoughts, the peacekeeper I had bothered earlier now passed several pencils to me, and a rubber which I accepted, before he abruptly left.

"Thanks." I muttered, before letting my mind wander again, my pencil sweeping the page.

Xxx

I didn't hear Magnus when he sat opposite me, watching my face intently. We were alone, apparently Effie still had a few things to do, but I was completely oblivious to all this, my head bowed in concentration.

"What are you doing?" Asked Magnus, the noise seemingly so loud to me that it caused me to jump, the lead pencil jarring the page harshly. I grunted in annoyance, quickly using the rubber to rub it out.

I stared down at the drawing resting on my lap. Surprised to see Magnus staring back at me through the page. The breath caught in my throat. It was almost right, but I couldn't do his eyes justice with just a pencil and paper.

"Drawing." I answered, finally remembering that Magnus was talking to me.

"Look, Alec... we might die in that Arena, and I have to tell you-"

He was cut off abruptly by the entrance of a purple haired Effie Trinket, and he looked fairly annoyed, sitting back in his chair in a huff.

"Hello Boys! Isn't this wonderful? Don't you just love it? Only the best for you two now. So let's run over the agenda shall we?"

She then continued to bore us with talks about interviewers and sponsors, etcetra etcetra, the whole time Magnus just stared at me, smirking and making bored faces at me. I had to try to really hard not to laugh at a few of them.

"So, it shouldn't take us long to get to the Capitol, so just sit back, relax, and enjoy!" She announced.

We said nothing. I was disgusted with how calm she was being. We were dead men walking, and she knew it.

Still, as she announced that she was 'off to find Haymitch' I settled back into drawing, trying to lose myself in perfecting the contours of Magnus' face.

" _You're stronger than they are."_

" _Just, try to win."_

" _Don't let them starve."_

I squeezed my eyes shut, how could I miss Jace and Max so much already? I was scared, but more than that, I was lonely, even Magnus felt different to me now, like it was somehow wrong for us to like each other, after all, we'd both be dead soon. It was possible, though very unlikely, that one of us would have to live on, knowing that the other had died for their survival. The thought was awful.

"Are you alright?" Magnus asked quietly, seemingly in conflict, his eyes moving quickly over my face, scanning my features for distress.

"No." I answered bluntly, shutting the sketchbook closed carefully, placing it on the table in front of me, and running my hands through my hair.

Silence passed, neither one of us knowing what to say. Why did it have to be us?

"Have you ever met him?" Magnus asked after a while. I said nothing, "Haymitch?" He pressed.

"Alec, he is our mentor." Magnus said again.

"For gods sakes Magnus, what does it matter? We're dead!" I exclaimed, ashamed as my throat caught, and I buried my face in my hands, forcing myself not to cry. I would not cry.

"No. We're not dead yet, you aren't at least, you can shoot Alec, there is hope for you." Magnus reassured me, leaning over the table and placing his hand over mine, smiling weakly.

"But what about you?" I whispered, looking up at him.

"Don't worry about me." He said, and I looked away, pulling my hand away from his abruptly, not saying what I wanted to; that I would always worry about him. He was part of my family.

Silence continued mostly through the rest of the journey. Magnus didn't ask about the sketchbook. He had probably caught on to the fact that I didn't want him to.

I watched the scenery fly by through the window, and then I saw it. The city towered high over any other sort of structure I had ever seen, and I heard Magnus suck in a breath of amazement as he saw it. The boy ran up to the window, marvelling at the sight of it all, and I couldn't stop the smile that spread over my face. He looked like a 5 year old seeing the sun for the first time!

"It's incredible!" Marvelled Magnus, looking over at me, and beckoning me over to the window with his hand, which I would have accepted if it weren't for all the people gawking at Magnus like he was a piece of meat as we entered to city. Magnus- loving the attention as always- stepped up, waving at the crowds with a massive grin on his face. It was just so _wrong_.

I gripped the edge of the nearest table in order to steady myself, and that was when I saw the third figure in the room. He wasn't that old, or that tall either, completely average in appearance, with longish blond-white hair that reached to the bottom of his cheek. He looked me straight in the eye, and nodded to Magnus, simply remarking,

"You better sweeten up Alexander; he knows what he's doing."

His teeth were revealed in a wolfish smile, and I realised, that perhaps the town drunk wasn't quite as clueless and stupid as everyone liked to believe. There was a sense of cunning to his movements. If I were to draw Haymitch Abernathy as any kind of animal, a wolf he would be.

Xxx

We got off of the train too slowly for my opinion, enough time for the crowds to gawk at us, smiling and laughing and wolf whistling as we went past. _Disgusting._ I thought.

"Look at the blue eyed one! He's gorgeous, and so brave too!" One said.

"hey, do you see the one with the eyeliner? He's got amazing fashion sense for a commoner." Another remarked.

I ignored them, staring straight ahead and pushing through the crowds. Magnus was behind me, so lots of people were touching his hair, his arms as he walked past, but he took it all in stride. It amazed me the amount of patience he possessed. And I knew that my hotheadedness could get me killed. I was fierce when I had to be, but usually calm and collected. If someone didn't kill me in the games, I was a little afraid the game makers would instead.

We eventually made our way inside a large marble- walled building. Each surface gleamed with the same texture that I imagine diamonds would possess.

Magnus and I were separated, and I was given simple instructions:

Strip down, Place your clothes in the corner of the room, dress in the simple gown given to you, and sit on the bed. Await assistance. With these instructions in mind, I was left alone.

I followed the instructions quickly, after spending a few moments searching the room for cameras, and set on the cold metal bed, waiting. It was hardly comfortable, the sort of material that was used in the sort of high class hospitals we couldn't afford in district 12.

After a few moments, a men stepped in to see me. He reminded me a little of Magnus, but with warm brown eyes instead of Magnus' startling green.

"What you did, at the reaping? Volunteering for your brother like that? That was one of the bravest things I've ever seen." He said.

"Thank you.." I murmured, a little overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you." He apologised, and I believed him-surprisingly.

"Most people just congratulate me." I said, rolling my eyes, to show how stupid I thought they were.

"Yeah well not me. But, anyways, my name's Cinna." Introducing himself.

"Alec." I said, introducing myself by my nickname rather than my full name for one.

"I'll be your stylist while you're here." He said, sitting across from me in a chair, and looking at me with a grave expression. He was the first person I had seen from the capitol who didn't look like they were on happy pills. His hair was black, styled neatly, and his only makeup was a little gold eyeliner. He had several piercings in both his ears, in the shapes of gold loops.

"So you're here to make me look pretty."

"I'm here to help you make an impression." He answered back forcefully, and I was a little surprised at his tone.

He then started to explain to me the process of the interviews, and the parade before the training actually started.

"Yeah they usually dress people in clothes from their district." I muttered, as we began talking about what I should wear.

"Yeah but I don't want to do that." He objected. "Here's what I think. I think that someone that brave, shouldn't be just dressed up in a stupid costume now should they?"

I looked down, feeling the brush spreading across my pale complexion.

"I guess not." I whispered, smiling at him gratefully.

He grinned.

"So usually, I would have my other stylists wash you down, etcetra, but that would mean they would get rid of these." He said, holding up my arm for inspection, circling a finger over the tattoo there.

I blushed.

"Do you have many more?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I have five in total." I said, and I watched as his lips lifted into a half-smile half-smirk.

"Can I see?" He asked, and I nodded, slightly shy as I removed my gown so I was sitting in just my boxers.

I pointed to the one just above my heart.

"This one is for love."

"The one on my right arm for Strength, the one on my left shoulder is for fearlessness, the one on my left arm is for mourning, and the one on my ribs is for friendship." I explained, pointing to each one in turn.

He grinned.

"I think I can work with those."

Xxx

Cinna dressed me in a simple black suit that was a little tight for my liking, and applied many more temporary tattoos resembling my original ones all up my arms, which were the only parts of my body that were completely exposed. I looked downright vicious as Cinna finished tying my boots up my legs. He also covered all of my permanent tattoos in a clear liquid, which smelt cloying and restricted my movement a little. A few more finishing touches, and I was ready.

"What do you think?" Cinna asked, stepping back to admire his handy work.

"I think I've never worn anything so tight in my life!" I said, looking back at him with an expression I hope paralleled my horror at him.

"Come on blue-eyes, let's get this show on the road. Literally!" He said cheerfully, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me out of the black, small and enclosed space. As I stepped outside I felt my cheeks flush. It was weird, for me to be wearing something this tight at all, let alone in public.

However, weird didn't even begin to cover how Magnus looked. It was incredible, he didn't have rune tattoos like me, he had probably just decided that it felt to fake. Instead, Magnus had swirling patterns stitched into a black, glittery gold and red trimmed jacket, fire designs covering him from head to toe, his hair gelled up in spikes with red glitter at the top of them.

I didn't have words to describe him. He didn't look at all like the Magnus I had known, and yet weirdly, he looked more at home and more at peace with how he looked now. His green eyes were staring at me, causing me to blush horribly at my tight clothing. I felt so exposed.

"Wow..." Magnus whispered, so quietly I was sure I wasn't supposed to hear, but if it were possible I turned an even darker shade of red. I resisted the urge to slap the grinning Cinna, who was looking between us with a very, very suggestive look, before he guided us towards our chariot. The chariot itself was simple; black, with the same flame designs that covered Magnus' jacket.

As Magnus and I stepped up onto our chariot, I felt my nervousness finally start to show itself, and I grasped the chariot in front of me to keep myself steady, afraid I would fall.

"Hey, don't worry." Magnus reassured me, "Everything's going to be fine. I wouldn't let you fall would I?" He asked me, and I smiled back, forcing myself to relax, it was just me and Magnus, no one else, just us, standing looking out on the woods, like we always did. I closed my eyes and pictured it as the chariots started to drive, the beautiful black horses pulling us forward.

We were the very last chariot, meaning we had the best chance to make an impression, I just hoped Cinna's amazing outfits would do the trick.

As we reached about halfway however, I felt my face heat up, and not because I was blushing either. I looked down, to see each one of my tattoos sparking and flaming, Magnus' jacket doing the same, the whole chariot on fire. I yelped quietly in alarm, and Magnus clutched my hand.

"Don't panic." He whispered into my ear. "It's not real fire. I've got you."

I took deep breaths, forcing my eyes shut for a moment, but they could quell the images of the purge as they forced themselves into my head, Izzy screaming as the flames engulfed her, the whole village in flames when we returned.

"Alec? Alec, listen to me, it's not real, darling. Relax." Magnus told me, staring at me intently as I opened my eyes.

"Don't let go." I said, holding onto his hand as if I might fall apart if he let go. He grinned.

"Never." He said, and lifted our joined hands into the air, as we completed the last half of the journey, and came to settle before President Snow.

Much to my relief, the flames went out then, and I stumbled, falling slightly into Magnus' chest, who held me upright, again, much to my relief.

I didn't miss the small frown playing against the edges of President Snow's mouth though.

"Welcome! Tributes, we welcome you, to the 74th annual hunger games! Due to the tragic, tragic events of a few months ago, you may notice that we have two male tributes from district 12. We hope this shall be resolved soon, but until then, we welcome you all, and reassure you not to be alarmed. They will not receive any special treatment. So, enjoy your stay here, and..."

And then, I saw him look my way, but not directly at me, as if above me, or almost through me.

"May the odds be ever in your favour."

Was I imagining things, or did I feel Magnus flinch behind me?


	3. Chapter 3- The interviews

**A/N: So 10 followers huh? I guess I'm doing something right... And to the reviewer who said I should switch it to crossover it was originally that, but no one found it so I switched it to normal category... I hope that's alright. As always, please read, review and fangirl and please I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter I've missed you all!**

 **See you in the review section I hope.**

 **Alec POV**

We left the chariot together, Magnus holding me close with one hand around my shoulders, guiding me quietly forwards with soft word of encouragement, as I was still a little dazed from my panic attack. Fire was definitely never going to be my thing. As we came in to Cinna and Effie's view, Effie gasped and they both rushed towards us.

"Alec, I am so, so sorry, I should have told you that was what I had planned to do, I'm so sorry!" Apologised Cinna hurriedly, leading me towards some paramedics in the far corner; they always seemed to be on standby.

"I'm fine Cinna, and I really don't need medical attention, can we just... Go and have dinner, please?" I asked him, slumping against Magnus' shoulder in exhaustion.

Cinna looked like he was about to protest, but obviously deciding against it and silently leading us to the lift and then towards our apartment.

I was left alone to shower and change far too soon. My room was plain, a bed, some cabinets and wardrobes, an ensuite bathroom, and that was all, but to me, it was like paradise. The bed was so soft that once I was in it I never wanted to get up again, but I forced myself to with a groan, stepping quickly into the steaming water of the shower, letting my muscles relax.

The shower can't have lasted very long, maybe 10 minutes, but when I returned to my room, donned in not much more than a towel, there was a girl standing in the corner, looking at me with dead, darkest brown eyes. Her hair was a dark, deep black colour, it's straight locks flowing gently over her shoulders, down along her arms. She stood deadly still, her hands clasped before her.

"Can I help you?" I asked. She then-finally- seemed to register I was actually in the room with her, then shook her head quickly and left, slamming the door behind her. I stared after her a minute, a girl who so much resembled my sister, that I worried that it actually _was_ her, before shaking my head.

Isabelle was dead. No amount of wishing would bring her back, and I knew that.

It still hurt like hell though.

I threw on some of the clothes in the wardrobe, all black, a jumper and black jeans, before stepping out into the main livingroom area, where everyone was waiting for me.

I pulled out one of the dining room table chairs and sat down, biting my lip awkwardly as the conversation died down to make way for my entrance.

"Hi." Magnus said, smiling.

"Hey. Sorry if I kept you all waiting." I apologised, keeping my eyes fixed on the table in front of me.

"No problem at all, dear," Effie said, "So let's have some food shall we?" She said, as the dishes were uncovered, and we started to eat.

The dinner progressed with little conversation from me and Magnus, mostly it was just us trying to understand everything the others were saying, talk of 'designers' and 'what's in' and other such things that I certainly didn't know about. After a while, I tuned the conversation down in my head, instead focusing on Haymitch, as it occurred to me, throughout the entire meal, I hadn't seen him drink once! Nothing alcoholic anyway.

 _What a transformation..._ I thought, a little confused, but deciding it was best not to point it out, in case Haymitch had somehow forgotten about it and Alec mentioning it would make him start again.

It was only after a minute or two that he noticed everyone was staring at him.

"What?" He asked, and could hear Magnus suppressing a giggle and failing miserably.

"I said, I heard you can shoot..?" Haymitch said, looking at me expectantly as he shovelled more roast duck into his mouth.

I looked down at my plate, finishing my own mouthful of amazing food.

"I'm alright." I allowed, starting to refill my glass, hoping the subject would change, but Magnus wasn't having it.

"He's more than alright, my parents used to buy his squirrels, my dad still says Alec's the best shooter you can get; says he hits them right in the eye, every time."

Silence fell over the table, shocked looks all around, except from Magnus who was looking increasingly smug.

"Magnus is strong, he can hold his own in a fight, and he's quick, he can lift a whole ton of four over his head, I've seen it." I said, returning Magnus' smug look. But Magnus wasn't grinning anymore, he looked downright annoyed.

"Oh really, and what's strength and speed going to do for me in the arena, Alec? Why don't you enlighten me?"

"It's a hell of a lot more than I've got, and you might stand a better chance of winning if someone came after you with a knife if-"

"I have no chance of winning!" Magnus shouted, looking at me with an appalled expression. "None, alright?"

The silence that had stretched over several long minutes felt so horrible that Alec could feel his skin crawl at the tension.

"Everyone knows it..." Magnus muttered, rolling his eyes.

It physically pained Alec to see him like this, the idea that Magnus could die from something so horrible was unbearable, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"Magnus I didn't-" I started, but Magnus just sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Don't worry about it, it's just been a long day, I didn't mean to shout at you." He apologised, picking at his food with his fork. Why did he always have to scrutinize his food?!

"It's fine, really."

I didn't say much else that dinner, after a while, Magnus and I excused ourselves and went to bed, but even as my body slept, my mind would not let me rest, not when thoughts of Magnus' death occupied it.

The next morning was the first day of training, and well, I couldn't be much more nervous. I had made an absolute embarrassment of myself in front of the other tributes in the parade, so I just hoped that I could actually get some training in without them making fun of me. I don't do well with confrontation; that was always Jace's forte.

I met Magnus after breakfast, judging by how late he had been coming out of his room, he was a heavy sleeper. That wasn't a good thing, I just hoped he could jolt himself out of the habit before the games started. Else it could get him killed.

"Ready?" Magnus asked me, a reassuring smile on his face. I laughed nervously.

"Not at all, but we have to, so let's get this over with..."I said, as we descended in the lift.

I followed Magnus mutely as he lead me into an almost empty training room. Over in the corner I could see the small girl from district 11 vomiting against the wall. I couldn't stop myself from walking towards him, despite Magnus' protests.

"Hey, it's going to be alright." I reassured her, touching her shoulder, she looked up at me, mischief in her eyes.

She drew me close then, and whispered in my ear, "I'm fine, just trying to get them to underestimate me. Thank you though." She said shyly, shaking my hand- which I wasn't prepared for and consequently made a rather rubbish contribution to the gesture- before letting me go.

When I returned to Magnus, he was grinning at me whilst also shaking his head, a look that said 'you're adorable, yet also an idiot', not that I knew that at the time.

"What?" I demanded, but he just shook his head again, muttering 'nevermind' before guiding me further through the joining rooms, beckoning me into one, and then locking it behind us.

"Just like Haymitch said." I said. "He said that we'd be able to have private training rooms, if we were lucky."

Magnus laughed, smirking slightly, his eye roaming down my body suggestively and making me blush.

"Does that meant that now we're alone I can have my wicked way with you?" He asked, approaching me slowly.

"I-I um... I- Um... Magnus!"

He just laughed as I struggled for words that wouldn't come to me, and grabbed a bow that was hanging on the far wall, and handing it to me.

"I was joking Alec." He explained, grabbing two swords of the wall, and handing one to me.

"Come on, let's get warmed up. Why don't we spar?" He asked, and I nodded, taking a defensive stance.

"You're on."

In the end, it was fairly clear that Magnus was the obvious winner of sparring. At one point he wrestled me to the ground and held me there, smirking that goddamn smirk of his.

The rest of the day was spent in the joint training room, learning survival skills, which I was a whole lot better at, and put me a little at ease.

We both understood the whole 'traps' thing almost immediately, we had made plenty of traps back in the woods anyway, and this wasn't any different, instead that the traps were bigger so that they could fit a person in rather than a rabbit.

We did get a few weird looks though, mostly due to Magnus' still sparkly hair. Today it was a bright green, which matched his eyes. I had tried shooting a little bit at the start of the day, but Magnus eventually convinced me against it, telling me that it was a much better idea to let people underestimate us. Besides, that way it meant we could focus on other skills we weren't so good at.

The days of training went far too fast, and Magnus and I become much closer and closer, eventually we were inseparable, so i was fairly unhappy when Haymitch explained we needed to be prepped for interviews separately, as was Magnus.

"But everyone sees us as a duo! You can't split us up, everyone likes the friendship we have." I protested. Cinna rolled his eyes.

"No, they don't, they like the chemistry you two have. Now I'll take Magnus first, you stick with Haymitch."

Magnus rolled his eyes in annoyance, mirroring my own irritation.

"I'll see you soon." He said, in ways of goodbye, and then left, following Cinna through the front door of the apartment.

"So Alexander, we just have to figure out what you're going to be like in the interviews, funny, sexy, cute, any ideas?" I shivered, and shook my head.

"What's wrong with just being me?" I asked quietly, looking up shyly through my eyelashes.

Haymitch clicked his fingers at me, grinning.

"Absolutely nothing. In fact it's perfect, be that innocent in the interview, and you'll do perfectly fine. Just don't lose your temper Alec, they're bound to mention your brother, and it could really hurt your chances if you lost it in there. Just be honest, be shy, you're bound to be nervous, and we'll use that for your image for now." He proposed.

I thought about that for a bit. That sounded a whole lot easier than trying to be sexy, or funny, though I was sure Magnus would be great at those... Wait what?

"I think I could do that..." I said, and just like that, we begin. He explains what I should say, how I should sit, and then he explains to Cinna how he wishes to me to dress, before letting me go, and I feel pretty good, if a whole lot nervous.

As I pass Magnus in the hallway however, he looks downright terrified. I grab his arm as he passes, stopping him.

"You ok?" I ask quickly.

He just nods, shrugging me off, causing me to frown, but I can't exactly follow both him and Cinna, and I don't really have much of a choice on who I have to follow.

Cinna didn't take too long, measured me, as usual, inked up my tattoos again, and starting on my costume as he talked with me.

"Do you think Magnus is alright?" I asked in a moment of silence.

He frowned.

"I don't see why not, why do you ask?"

"Well, when I passed him in the hallway, he seemed a bit... off..." I explained, trying my best to put it into words and failing miserably.

"I'm sure he's fine, he's probably just a little bit nervous. You're going to love your outfit for tonight by the way Alec." He said, grinning up at me.

"Why what is it?" I asked, turning my head to the side in anticipation.

"Wait and see."

I didn't see Magnus again until right before the interviews, both of us standing in stony silence as we waited for out turn. I was so nervous I didn't seem to notice. My whole life was hinging on this, and far too soon I would see the affects.

Finally, it was just me and him, and for some reason I was chosen to go first, which didn't make any sense to me, but still I went without a fight. Just as my name was called and a walked forward cautiously to go up on stage, Magnus grabbed my arm.

"Good luck." He said, his eyes showing a fear I had never seen before.

"You too." I whispered, before finally making my way up to the stage, where the people awaited.

The first thing that assaulted me was the noise, so many people cheering and screaming. But it didn't last long, once I was half way to Caesars side, the noise just become a constant buzz, and I couldn't hear anything over it, even as I sat down.

Only after a minute did I notice Caesar staring at me.

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked shyly, worried I had already messed up.

Caesar laughed. "I think someone's a little nervous. Not to worry, I simply asked about your entrance at the parade the other day. Quite the spectacle. And I must say I very much admire your outfit today." He said.

"Thank you." I replied, "Cinna, my stylist is a genius. I'm very lucky to have met him." I said sincerely.

"Well, would you mind giving us a twirl then?" He asked, leading me-burning cheeks and all- to the front of the stage.

And just like Cinna told me, I captivated my audience as my black outfit sparked in white flames, and my coat jacket compacted and changed into two feathery white wings, matching my runes in their brightness.

Cinna was right, I did love it, but I was getting very dizzy, giggling like a school girl as Caesar led me to sit back down.

"Woah, easy Alexander!" He said. "Wow, that was really something... Thank you for that." He said.

I just smiled back at him.

"Now, I just want to ask one more thing... It's about your brother. We were all very moved, I think, when you volunteered for him at the reaping. Did he come and say goodbye to you?"

"Yes, he did." I muttered quietly, looking down as he clasped my hand.

"And what did you say to him?"

"I said I would try to win. That I would try to win for him." I whispered.

"Of course you did..." Caesar said over the deathly silence of the room. "And try you will." He said, setting my blood cold.

Why had he said that?

"Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Alexander Lightwood!" He shouted, announcing my exit, and finally, finally, letting me go."

There isn't much time between interviews, so the minute I was off of the stage I was swept up by Cinna, Effie, and Haymitch who all congratulated me on a superb performance, and then the next minute Magnus was in for his interview.

"So Magnus, how are you enjoying your time in the Capitol?" Caesar asked, sitting back in his chair.

"It's different, it's very different..." Magnus said, grinning as he did so, looking very relaxed.

"And in what way are we different?" Asked Caesar, looking a little worried. As if Magnus might in some way make him look bad.

"Well the showers here are weird." Magnus said.

Everybody laughed.

"Showers... We have different showers..." Caesar repeated, grinning and looking confused.

"Let me ask you a question Caesar, do I smell like roses to you?"

They went through a whole routine of sniffing each other, which the audience of course found hilarious.

When the pulled back, Magnus looked mildly offended.

"You definitely smell better than I do." He said, taking mock offense.

"Well, I've lived here longer." Caesar reassured.

"That makes sense." Acknowledged Magnus, and they waited a bit for the audience to quiet down, leaning back in their chairs and crossing their legs at the same time.

"So Magnus, is there a special girl back home?"

Magnus grimaced, looking physically pained, and so did I. I felt Cinna and Porshe freeze a little bit too.

"Can they not see the eyeliner and makeup and glitter?" Demanded Haymitch.

"Well, he is technically bi, so he's only half wrong." I allowed.

"Ah no... I don't think so." Some of the audience 'awed'. Caesar looked sceptical.

"I don't believe it for a second! Look at that face! Handsome man like you, Magnus, come on!" He coaxed and finally Magnus sighed and gave in.

"Well... There is this one... guy, by the way," Which eliciting a gasp and an apology from Caesar, "Who I've had a crush on forever, but I don't think he really noticed me until the reaping."

The crowd awed again.

"Oh... Well, let me tell you this Magnus, you go out there, and you win this thing, and when you get home, he'll have to go out with you."

Magnus winced, pinching the bridge of his nose as if physically in pain, making me sigh and feel incredibly sorry for him. I had never known about Magnus having a crush and here he was telling the world about it before me. It was so messed up.

 **Magnus POV**

"Thanks but I um... I don't think winning's going to help me at all." I said.

"And why not?" Caesar asked.

"Because he came here with me."

The audience erupted in a sea and collaboration of applause and excitement, but all I wanted to do was apologise to Alec and hold him close.

Because I could have just killed him with one sentence.

If he died it would be all my fault.


	4. Chapter 4- The Bargain

**A/N: 15 FOLLOWERS?! What the frack?! That was fast you guys I'm amazed... Like speechless! Thank you so much... since I posted chapter 3 there are 5 more of you?! What?! I'm amazed and just thank you so much...**

 **Magnus POV**

"Well, that's bad luck." Acknowledged Caesar.

I was quickly whirled off of the stage, feeling sick. I had _seen_ Snow's face. I had _heard_ his warning. If Alec died... it was all my fault, but if I hadn't of answered Caesar's question head on it was likely that the audience would come to that conclusion anyway. I had been well and truly backed against a wall, but that couldn't quell the rising sick feeling in my throat as images swirled in my head. Snow's deathly glare at me from his viewer's box as I answered, the smell of Alec's blood mingling with the scent of roses around me, the image of his dead body assaulting me. I braced my hand against a nearby wall, and felt myself throw up.

By the time I was done, I felt completely hollow.

 _God what was Alec going to say?_ I thought as I made my way towards my team. I saw Alec before he saw me. Saw the complete and total fear and confusion in the swirling blue depths of his eyes. My mind once again offering me the image of those eyes losing their light and staring back at me.

Dead.

I stopped and scrunched my eyes shut, wishing for my imagination to shut up for once. Usually I more than welcomed it when it offered me Alec, his body, his eyes, his hair. But this time... This time I would do anything for it to be quiet but once again I allowed my injured mind to wander back to president Snows warning...

I remembered the day of the reaping. While Alec was alone waiting for his family to visit, I was very much not alone. The white hair and beard did nothing to hide the almost redness that hid beneath his eyes as he glared at me, as if to see right through me as I sat across from him.

"So Magnus. I think you must know why I am here."

"You fear of what threat I might pose to your audience I suppose."

"Not just you, but Alexander as well. Both of you pose a threat to the delicate system we have in the capitol."

"And why is that? Please do enlighten me." I glared back, leaning forward in my chair, snarling.

"It is obvious to me that your... preferences could encourage a similar sort of behaviour to the rest of my nation. But as you know I can't pull you out of the games now-"

"So why don't you just kill me? It's not like it makes any difference; I'm dead anyway. Killing me will just give Alexander a greater chance." I said, daring him to do it, to be stupid enough to make a fool of himself. _If he kills me now the whole of the Capitol will know that it was him, and they will have to call for a re-election._ _And maybe if that happens, Alec will be spared._

It was a definite possibility, if Snow had been stupid enough to fall for it- which he wasn't.

"Oh no, Mr Bane, I don't want to kill you. Not yet anyway, but I'm here to ask you for a favour."

"What do I get in exchange for completing such a favour?" I ground out.

"Alexander Lightwood, yourself, and your families are allowed to live, that is all."

My ears pricked up. "You can guarantee our safety?" I demanded.

"Not exactly, but I can undertake an above average interest in your survival, if you understand my meaning Mr Bane. But you haven't agreed to my terms yet."

"Fine then, lay them on me." I said, winking, to see how far I could go. That didn't stop my blood running cold as he glared at me though. He sure was scary.

"You will not, under any circumstance engage in any sort of romantic relation with Alexander Lightwood unless given direct orders to do so, if this order is breached prepare to receive immediate contact. Secondly, you will keep your own opinions and the opnions of Alexander Lightwood to yourselves and not make them public to the press. And thirdly, you will not tell anyone of this meeting, especially Alexander, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." I said.

"So what is your answer then?"

 _I was snapped out of my daze by the lift doors opening, jolting me back to reality, but also to the harsh truth. If Alec died..._

 _It was too horrible to think about. So wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn't realise that Alec and I had been left alone for at least a solid 2 minutes._

" _Magnus?" Murmured Alec, his arms wrapped around himself, looking so much like he used to, that shy face, blushed cheek, bright blue eyes hiding beneath a deep dark black fringe, his jumper sleeves covering his hands, holes in which for him to put his thumbs._

" _Hey." I said, grinning, trying to hide my inward feelings of fear._

 _Clearly, that had been the wrong thing to say, as Alec's previous look of shyness disappeared to reveal a murderous glare, and he snapped up from where he was sitting, and pushed me against the wall, his arm pressing against my windpipe. I struggled against his strong arm, he was lifting me slightly off of the floor._

" _What the hell was that?!" Alec screamed. "First you act like you're terrified of this interview, like it's the worst thing in the world and then you say you have a crush on me?! Was it all a play?" He demanded, a murderous glare across his features._

" _No Alec! You don't understand! Snow threatened me I didn't know what to do! He said he'd kill you if I did this but I just didn't know what to do Alec. I love you please-"_

 _And that was when I realised my mistake. I had broken the third conditions, and looking into Alec's eyes now, I realised what I had done._

 _I had killed him with one sentence. He was dying. The light was leaving his blue eyes, his arm had gone slack against me. Blood poured from the side of his head, as if he had been shot._

 _I saw out of the corner of my eye a retreating black figure, but I paid no attention to it as I lowered Alec to the ground, his gentle smile looking up at me, his pale cold fingers running through my hair as I leaned over him, as the boy I loved lost his grip on the world._

 _I couldn't feel the tears, but I saw them fall onto Alec's beautiful face._

" _Alec... I'm so sorry... I love you... I love you..."_

" _Magnus..." He whispered, taking a sudden hissing breath, as if there was a sudden stab of pain, or he had to catch a sudden breath in a wind. "It's just a dream..."_

And that was when I woke up. I recognised the scene almost immediately, there was Alec, looking down at me. What had happened?

Where I was was obvious; I recognised it as the lounge behind the stage, where Alec would have been waiting for me when I had finished my interview...

Oh.

Clearly, after throwing my guts up, I never made it to my team. Instead I must have just passed out, either from the stress, which is quite likely due to Snow and the throwing up can't have helped or for some other reason that I couldn't think of right now.

"Magnus? You with me?" Asked Alec quietly.

"Yes. Always." I whispered, stroking part of Alec's fringe out of his face. His lips parted, as if wanting to say something but not sure what exactly.

"Let me get you to bed. It's the games tomorrow and you need rest."

"I'm afraid not Alec. Apparently President Snow has requested a meeting with you Alec. We'll take Magnus to bed."

"NO!" I objected. "No I have to go with him!"

"Magnus." Alec said, taking my hand, "I'll be fine, I'm sure it's just an inquiry as to whether I feel the same way about you, and how they'll air it in the games. Don't worry."

"Please don't go." I begged.

"I don't have a choice. I'll be fine." He reassured, and the let go, heading away and out of my sight, leaving me to rest for the games, but even when I could sleep, it was plagued with nightmares


	5. Chapter 5-The Kiss

**A/N: Hey guys I just want to make it clear that some of these lines are not mine and are either taken from the books or the films, but I hope this fanfiction is original enough for you... I've been struggling a lot recently. And I need to say it here because I can't anywhere else. I'm not ok. I'm really, really not.**

 **I don't mean to bother you all I'm sorry.**

* * *

 **Alec POV**

I was filled with a great sense of fear as I made my way to the door. There were peacekeepers on either side of me and I took a deep breath to calm myself. If they wanted to kill me they would have just waited for the games, so this has to be about something trivial; right?

"Ah Mr Lightwood please do take a seat." Snow said, gesturing to the arm chair beside him. I hesitantly obeyed. Not because I wanted to or felt like I had to, but mostly just because I could see a reason why not. If I do what he says there's nothing to be scared of.

As I sat down Snow got an Avox to pour us two glasses of some sort of liquid. I assumed it was alcoholic, so virtually the minute it was given to me I placed it back onto the coffee table in front of me. Drinking had never been my thing, I just hope it wouldn't look rude, but frankly, at least then I knew he hadn't drugged me with anything. Not that he would...

"So Mr Lightwood I'm sure you must be experiencing a lot of emotions right now." Snow said.

I nodded.

"Well I'm here to make a deal. I wish you to tell young Magnus that our previous deal has been relinquished, and you must now follow this new one to fix the damage you have caused."

"What damage?" I asked.

"Your hometown is in uproar. Within the last week, we have been monitoring communications throughout the districts, talk of rebellion has been seen in over 4 districts. We believe that you and Magnus have given out a message to the people; that you have to stand up for who you are. What you believe in. Which might be commendable in other circumstances, but you must understand, I'm trying to run a country here. I need your cooperation and help to keep the delicate balance we made many years past."

"So you want us to help you trick our loved ones into staying under your thumb for many generations to come?!" I demanded, my rage taking over, the hot liquid flooding my veins and making my reasoning useless.

"Don't test me young Lightwood. Of course there is something in it for you. Do this, and tell Magnus I can guarantee that you will both survive these games. You can go home as soon as the games are finished."

"And if I say no?"

"Then I will have to kill the threat as it stands before any more harm can be caused."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Do I look like a joking man?" He demanded. I shook my head.

"Good. Then what is your answer?"

* * *

Magnus wasn't sleeping when I got back to our floor. He sat by the huge window scaling from floor to ceiling, staring out the window, and I was startled to see the reflections of tears in his eyes.

"Magnus? What's wrong?" I asked, walking towards him. There was still a fair distance between us, around a metre or so, and it was quite dark. I cursed as I walked straight into some sort of furniture. Whether it was a chair or table or something else I couldn't be sure.

"Alec?" He breathed, staring at me like I was a ghost, then he ran forward and hugged me close, kissing my hair frantically, and making me blush in the process.

"I thought you were dead." He explained, finally releasing me, and I wiped his tears away softly with my fingers.

"No. But we have to talk." I said, sitting next to him on the window sill.

"I know look Alec, what I said in the interview-"

"No not that. Not right now, we don't have enough time. Look Snow told me to tell you that whatever previous deal you had is relinquished and is now replaced with this new one. We have to do everything Snow tells us, but if we do he'll let us live!" I explained, imploring Magnus to agree though he was shaking his head.

"Alec you can't trust anything he says."

"I didn't exactly have a choice, Magnus."

"I know Alec." He whispered. "I'm just glad you're ok."

I smiled, saying nothing.

"We should probably go to sleep if we want to wake up with enough energy for tomorrow."

"Huh?" He asked, his voice muffled as he was talking into my shoulder, but I could tell her was tired. Smiling, I just whispered, 'never mind', gathered him into my arms and carried him to his room, and laid him under the covers, but just as I was about to leave, he grabbed my arm sleepily with his hand.

"Stay..." He muttered, and I nodded, taking my shirt off and slipping under the covers, relishing in the warmth. I wasn't ready for tomorrow at all, in fact, I was terrified. So why was I so happy?

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, Magnus was asleep on my chest. I looked down at him, his eyes fluttering under his eyelids, still clearly lost in sleep and forced myself not to laugh, knowing my shaking would wake him up.

I rolled my head softly, turning it to the side to see the time. 6:00am. Great. My body always woke me up early when there was something on my mind. I sighed, wondering what to do. There wasn't much I could do it wasn't like I could move or go anywhere, with Magnus asleep on my chest. I shivered, his warm breath tickling against the bare skin. It was kind of annoying.

Magnus shifted in his sleep, muttering something, and slowly woke up (probably because of my restless fidgeting) looking up through his eyelashes at me.

"Hi." He said.

"Morning." I said, unsure of what else to say.

He lifted himself up, stretching his long cat-like limbs in such a gesture that I was afraid he might snap a bone, but apparently they actually could bend that way even though they looked like they couldn't.

Magnus rested his hand on my chest, the warmth of his hand spreading up to my neck making me blush.

"What are you doing?" I asked, blushing.

He drew the covers up to our shoulders. "You're cold." He explained.

I nodded, and gathered the covers further around me, relishing in their warmth.

Not only 5 sweet minutes of warm blissful silence had passed before Magnus was pulling the covers off me slightly, leaning over me, still half asleep.

Then, I watched shyly as he leaned down and let our lips meet, warmth spread through me better than any kind of radiator or alcohol, and I leaned into him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered after he pulled away, my eyes were still closed. "I had to do that at least once. We could die today and-"

"Magnus. It's ok. It's better than ok. Now go back to sleep you're drifting in and out." I said, giggling to myself. He nodded sleepily.

"Maybe another 10 minutes..."

He slept another 2 hours. But I didn't mind. He was warm.

* * *

 **The games are on next chapter. Please read, review, and fangirl. I hope you all have a great day/night. I love you all, I'm always here if you need to talk lovelies.**


	6. Chapter 6-The Arena

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your support and your well wishes, I'm working on it I promise. Just some things can't be helped. I just wish the world wasn't so cruel on some people you know? But anyways, I'm working on it, here's a new chapter to celebrate how awesome you all are :) So please read, review, fangirl and enjoy.**

 **Alec POV**

We were woken harshly by an angry Haymitch, who grabbed Magnus by the shoulders and hurled him out of bed, grabbing him by the collar of his sweatshirt and glaring at him with an exasperated look, leaving me to scramble away so my back was to the wall, my hands out in front of me ready to punch him if need be.

"What the hell was that for?" Magnus demanded, looking over at me first to silently ask if I was ok, to which I nodded.

"Oh? _You're_ angry? You have to fight for your lives today, and instead of spending last night getting the sleep you desperately need, you were too busy spending it getting a piece of that!" Haymitch shouted, gesturing to me, though I could see a hint of amusement behind the anger.

I felt my face blush with red hot heat at his suggestion.

"I didn't sleep with him!" I objected, embarrassed.

"Well technically-" Said a voice in the doorway.

"Oh shut up Cinna!" Haymitch said, rolling his eyes.

After a bit more shouting, some apologies and some laughs we were finally left alone to say our last goodbyes before the start of the games. Soon, we would be in a massive killing spree, where we could die at any moment, and I wasn't ready for that at all, but I knew Magnus was terrified. I had to be strong for him, keep him safe.

He pulled me in to a hug, and I could feel the tremors of him body. I didn't know how to calm him down, so I just held him for the longest time.

Eventually we pulled away, and I searched my room for a bit as he waited, before finally coming across the object and coming back to stand in front of him, and held it out for him to take.

It was my mother's sketch book, something that meant more to me than I could say. It was the object that I treasured the most, even letting Magnus hold it took a lot of self restraint.

"Alec, why are you giving me this?" He asked.

"It's a promise. I need you to hold on to it in the games for me, so that if we're ever separated you know I'll come for you, besides this way... There'll always be a little piece of me with you, wherever you go." I smiled at him, and he kissed me again. It was this moment I wanted to keep, I would be content if I could simply have it on repeat for my whole life if we were this happy.

"I can't take it Alec... It's your mother's..." He objected, hugging it close to his body with such care that I felt honoured by it. That he had such care over something that obviously meant a lot to me.

"I want you to have it Magnus. Please... If I die, I want this to get back to them." I said, imploring him to take it.

Eventually he just nodded, and we sat together, exchanging kisses and sweet nothing's until we were told to leave.

* * *

Cinna seemed almost sorry for me as I got dressed, the absence of my bow against my back setting me on edge. Now that I was with Cinna and not Magnus, I let myself freak out a little, just enough to get it out of my system but not enough for Cinna to actually worry about me.

He rushed around me, tightening a strap here and there, trying to make me as comfortable as possible. I was dressed in waterproof everything, thick boots, and jacket, everything in black, thank god. Not only as it was my preferred colour but also because it would-hopefully- make it easier to camouflage myself.

When Cinna finally stepped back, seemingly pleased with handy work, there was only 1 minute until the game started. I bit my lip, swallowing my fear. I had to be there for Magnus- he needed me.

"Alec." Cinna said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I know you care about Magnus, but please, you can't trust anyone in that arena... I don't want to see you get hurt."

I knew he was only trying to help me, but I instantly became stubborn and defensive... I wish I hadn't.

"Magnus would never hurt me, Cinna."

I said nothing else after that, stepping into the glass tube that would lift me into the games without a word. Cinna shot me a small smile from the other side of the glass, and slowly, it began to lift me up into the games.

* * *

It took me a few minutes to adjust to the bright, bright light of the arena. And once I did, I did not like what I saw. There was virtually no cover where we were standing. The arena was like nothing I had ever seen except through history books, a stretch of land covered the entire arena, covered in so much sand that I knew running would be very difficult.

The absolute worst conditions we could have hoped for, but there was no time to dwell on that now. We had only 90 seconds before the games began and I had to figure out in which direction I was going to run.

The only cover I could see was a forest of trees that seemed to go the whole way round the backs of all the tributes, leaving a wide circle of sand, but I knew by the thickness of trees that the forest wasn't large. There had to be some sort of cover I could reach. It was then out of the corner of my eye that I spotted Magnus (finally) trying to catch my eye. He was nodding his head towards the backpack in front of me, and I nodded understand he wanted me to grab it when the games began. He then nodded his head to the side, where I couldn't see much-him being the complete opposite side of the cornucopia to me- but a small amount of trees, but I had to trust him. I knew if I went that way at least I would be with Magnus, and hopefully we wouldn't get stuck in the blood bath for supplies, I nodded, and then readied myself to run as the count down wound down.

I wasn't stupid enough to go for the bow they had obviously left for me, I would just have to survive without it. We had bigger problem than weaponry. Starvation and dehydration were much bigger problems.

It did occur to me that it was possible Magnus was receiving orders from president Snow. We had both been given an earpiece (unknown to anyone but us and Snow) so that we could receive orders if anything went to hell.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

And I ran. The horn sounded and all noise faded into the background as I ran forward for the backpack and then across the sand dunes, slipping a little bit but my heart pounding with so much adrenaline and fear that I made it to Magnus' side quicker than I ever thought possible, especially since he hadn't waited for me, and had been running at his own pace. Once I was running beside him I saw his goal almost immediately, a large rock placed near a group of trees, not enough that their shade was covering the tiny entrance, but enough that it wouldn't look conspicuous. We jumped in, and the cave itself was unbelievably hot, and actually underground, meaning the tributes wouldn't spot us.

When we were both inside, Magnus covered the entrance with more rocks, so that other tributes wouldn't be tempted to call this place a home.

We were safe, we hoped.

"Courtesy of President Snow." Magnus said, and bowed, seemingly a lot more calm than he had been a few minutes ago.

"Let's see what's in these back packs then." I whispered, trying to keep my voice down as the sound reverberated through the cave like hole.

We unpacked. In mine, there was: A roll of plastic material, an empty water bottle, a small knife, rope, a large piece of rolled up canvas, and a sleeping bag.

Magnus' contained: A water purifier, a large coil of wire, another empty water bottle, a torch, blanket, and first aid kit.

We set the tools back in our bags, so that if we had to move quickly we wouldn't waste time.

Now that we were safe there wasn't much to do, and we just sat still together for a while, in silence.

"I'm glad you're safe." Magnus said quietly, and I nodded.

"I feel the same way about you." I said. I could see he was clutching his chest, as if there was something there, a scar of some sort that needed to be hidden.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, concerned, and gestured to his chest. He smiled and shook his head.

"No, I just really don't want to lost this." He said, taking it out so I could see it was my mother's sketchbook.

Words didn't need to be said after that.

* * *

I could tell that Magnus wasn't completely relaxed. He kept checking the entrance way every few minutes, but it didn't bother me. Mostly I was too hot to care, but I had expected that, we were living in the dessert after all. That night passed perfectly fine, and calmly. I took first watch as I knew it would be too hot to sleep but once night was truly underway the temperature dropped (as it always does in desserts) to a level I could actually stand, and I finally fell asleep.

However the heat was back too soon, in fact, it was back the minute I woke up.

* * *

It annoyed me that Magnus seemed to be coping with the heat with general ease. I stayed silent, huddled in the most shady area of our little living space, and tried not to move. I didn't want to strip down out of clothes or anything like that because Magnus would worry, and he didn't need that. However, I was starting to feel really sick, any movement caused the room to spin, but I hoped I would cope with the heat in time.

As we settled down to sleep that night I forced a smile on my face as Magnus lay beside me in the sleeping bag, but eventually I allowed myself to crawl out of it and lie on top of it. Despite all this it did nothing to ease my suffering. Eventually the temperature dropped again, but I still felt awfully weak and dizzy. By the time I even felt remotely tired, I could feel it beginning to get hot again, and groaned in anguish.

I blamed my father for my low tolerance of heat. Mum told me once that before I was conceived he had to work with this specific chemical which lowered his body tolerance to heat, and a lot of other nasty side effects, which he graciously handed down to me. We never thought it would be a problem, district 12 didn't really get that hot, but now I was starting to feel the consequences.

* * *

Sometime during the night I closed my eyes for a minute to stop the room from spinning. Pretty sure I lost consciousness. It's hard to remember.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to a sleeping Magnus behind me. I felt insanely warm, and sick. Like before I didn't even want to move, and didn't plan to.

But that was before I felt like I was going to be sick. I struggled and staggered away from the sleeping Magnus, and finally threw up, it taking most of my energy before I had to slump against the wall in exhaustion, my eyes half lidded.

I don't know how much time had passed, it only felt like a few seconds to me, but when I opened my half lidded eyes once more Magnus was crouched before me, a very concerned look on his face.

"Mag-" I tried, but my throat was dry and I was so tired. We really didn't need this.

"Hush darling, don't talk. You've been over heating since we got here. I'm so stupid-why didn't you tell me you felt ill?" He demanded, and I just shook my head, too tired to care, or even reply to him.

"Alec? Love? You're not really here right now are you?" I shook my head, feeling my eyes closing.

"We need to get you out of here, at least for a bit..." Magnus said, running his hands all over my face, loving touches. A ghost of a smile worked its way onto my face.

"Come on Love." He said, and then, completely without warning, he hoisted me up, one hand under my knees and the other holding my back close to his chest. He got me to hold the backpacks, and then we struggled out of our hole, and he laid me under the shade of a tree.

I sighed in relief.

"Better?"

I nodded, not opening my eyes, feeling the dizziness stop lightly, and giving me a bit of a reprieve. We needed water soon though, and fast.

"We can't stay here for very long Alec so-"

He stopped mid sentence, and as my senses slowly come back to me I realised.

We weren't alone.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you all have a great day/night :) Reviews make my little heart sing.**


	7. Chapter 7- The cannon

**A/N: Before I start I'm just going to rant for a minute... You can skip through it's fine...It's just... There's a difference between liking someone and loving someone. Liking someone is inviting someone over for dinner and kissing them and introducing them to your parents. Loving someone is sacrificing yourself for them. You might not benefit from it, but it consumes you. You just want them to be ok, to make them smile, and that one smile warms your heart so much that you don't think it's possible.**

 **I mention this because a friend I know has a boyfriend, and she always talks about how much she loves him, but I don't think she quite understands. Love is talking to someone until they fall asleep because they've been having trouble drifting off. Love is trying to send people lyrics over the phone because listening to the music they love has been giving them headaches. Love is putting your heart on the line because gods it** _ **hurts**_ **, and you know they're going to die but you need to make them ok.**

 **Love is bleeding. It's constant,** _ **heartwrenching,**_ **bleeding.**

 **Love is what it feels like to be hollow.**

 **Chapter dedicated to San. Thank you. For everything that you said. And everyone who's been so supportive. Thank you. And it hurts, gods it hurts, but I'm not alone I suppose. I know one day, I'm going to feel like I'm very very alone, but that's what it's like to be in love with someone who's dying. It's a constant pain. But I don't mind being so hollow.**

 **Alec POV**

My heart was in my throat as I looked in front of me, or rather slightly above me, to where the figure was standing, bow drawn to her shoulder. From what I could gather, she had been sitting in the little grove of trees for a while, maybe a few hours. She looked scared, like a startled deer- for I had much experience with those- and her brown hair fell over hear shoulder, cascading over until it almost reached the boy string.

She was like a tightened spring. I feared any moment the spring would jump, and the arrow would be realised, but I was too weak to be able to move out of the way. It was possible she could kill us right here. In fact, very likely, though I didn't like the idea.

"DON'T SHOOT!" Magnus yelled, weirdly softly, since it didn't make the girl jump, or me in fact.

I saw her eyes dart to me, taking in my condition, and she backed off, slinging the boy over the top of her arm.

"I can hardly kill a man who can't fight back..." She murmured, by way of explanation. Whether it was for us or herself I didn't know, nor did I care. I relaxed, hitting my head back against the tree I was resting against, closing my eye lids slowly as a rush of heat raked my body, and not the good kind.

I was still feeling better than I had, but that wasn't exactly hard. Magnus, a little to my surprise, was quickly leaning himself over me, his arms stretching across my body so that my chest was covered with his. It made me feel safe, remarkably so.

"What's wrong with him?" Asked the girl, as I heard her footsteps heading towards us, though she slipped and slid across the sand, seemingly inexperienced with the arena, which Alec took great comfort in.

A low grumble elicited from Magnus throat, and it made me look up at his face in surprised. His expression was one that an angry cat might have held if you tried to stroke it's sharpened claws; a look that said 'don't mess with me'.

"Don't come any closer." Warned Magnus, turning away from me to glare at her, but she ignored him.

"What are you gonna do? Kill me?" She taunted.

"If I have to." He threatened, now stepping away from me despite my sharp warnings of 'dont' and they began to circle each other.

"I would like to see you try _Magnus Bane_." She sneered, "It's not as if it makes a difference. I'm a dead man anyway." She said, sounding resigned and tired.

And in that moment, Magnus hesitated. And she moved lightening fast. Grabbing him by the front of his shirt she threw him so his back collided with a tree, and held her fore arm against his throat with such strength that it held him fast.

I struggled to my feet, staggering towards him in desperation.

It was only then, as I got to my feet, that I noticed that the brown haired girl wasn't the only person in the grove. There had been a second. _Could I get any more stupid?_

I shook my head, dizziness causing my thoughts to tumble from one to another. The second person, or figure, finally came into view as my head started to clear, and I recognised it as the boy from district 7, the only other boy who was even a little bit experienced with a bow.

A bow he was pointing directly at me.

* * *

I froze. I could see Magnus struggling against the girl, screaming my name with lungs that had no air.

"Do it, snap his neck, come on Clara!" He urged. Magnus gave one last shove against the girl then, and to my surprise, she loosened her grip, just enough for Magnus to shout,

"Alec! Run!" But I wasn't going anywhere. I knew if I moved I was going to die. But I also knew that despite that, Magnus would die if I moved. He might die if I didn't , but at least then he wouldn't be alone.

"Clara do it!" He urged, starting to panic. She didn't move, seemingly frozen.

Then the next minute she broke into fractures, it was like she just lost it, and began screaming. She clutched her head in her hands and dropped to her knees, and Magnus collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily and rubbing his hands all across his neck in relief.

The boy with the bow froze, seemingly unsure what to do.

"Clara?" He asked, unsure of what to do, and obviously concerned.

Then finally, she looked up to him, and shouted in desperation, "I'M SORRY." And other phrases that I couldn't really decipher, just mutterings, things like 'can't take it' words like 'die' and 'kill' but nothing really of meaning.

She writhed and thrashed on the floor, and it was only then that it began to click in my mind. Poison berries. The girl had committed suicide.

Since the berries would have taken around 2 hours at least to take into effect, then I knew she had planned it. There _hadn't_ been 2 people in the grove when we first entered it, because she had left him alone, alone to die. She didn't want him to see her slowly deteriorate.

It was heartbreaking really, and as I saw her body relax and go still, it was like I could feel all of the boy with the bows sorrow, all of his grief, but then I was sick so it wasn't exactly hard to believe.

What was the worst thing, though, was that the boy looked so lost without her. I heard the canon go off into the air, and he just stared down at her body, like he couldn't believe like she was really gone.

I swayed on my feet as Magnus rushed towards me, hugging me close, and I breathed in the scent of his hair.

* * *

Our moment of silence and reprieve was broken by a loud clashing of something being dropped. More of a thud, as the sand blew around us and Magnus spluttered as it went into his face.

We pulled out of our hug, and that was when I saw it, the silver bow the boy had been holding was staring up at me from the dusty ground.

The boy was staring at me with hollow eyes, and I knew what he wanted. Clearly he and the girl had been close, or maybe they shared the same ideals, maybe they didn't want to kill, I didn't know.

What I did know was what he was thinking. His eyes said it all. Dull, unmoving.

He wanted me to kill him too.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you again to San, to which this chapter is dedicated to, and thank you all of you. I can't thank you enough. I'm trying to though.**


	8. Chapter 8- I just have to keep you safe

**Previously:**

 **Our moment of silence and reprieve was broken by a loud clashing of something being dropped. More of a thud, as the sand blew around us and Magnus spluttered as it went into his face.**

 **We pulled out of our hug, and that was when I saw it, the silver bow the boy had been holding was staring up at me from the dusty ground.**

 **The boy was staring at me with hollow eyes, and I knew what he wanted. Clearly he and the girl had been close, or maybe they shared the same ideals, maybe they didn't want to kill, I didn't know.**

 **What I did know was what he was thinking. His eyes said it all. Dull, unmoving.**

 **He wanted me to kill him too.**

* * *

 **Alec POV**

I stood staring at him for what felt like an eternity. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. Not only was I still swaying on my feet, but I couldn't kill.

But looking into his eyes, I saw a look I knew all too well, a look of absolute despair.

I struggled forwards, and leaned before him, so that I was crouching and we were at eye level.

"Hey." I said quietly. "I'm sorry." I whispered, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Please." He whispered, looking up at me with a need, his eyes were broken, there was nothing there any more.

"Alec." Magnus muttered from behind me. "What's going on?" He asked, putting his hand on my arm in a gesture that asked me to leave with him, to rest, to take it easy. But I couldn't. Sometimes people need to die.

No one deserves to die, and yet some people want it, and who was I to deny him, when he would make it slow and painful and I could make it quick and easy?

I leaned forward and took the boy's bow from his hands. He didn't fight me, and even reached behind him to pass the quiver of arrows to me.

My hands shook against the feel of silver in my hands.

"Magnus. I don't want you to see this." I said, looking at him with blue eyes that I was sure already held tears, but I had to do this.

His eyes widened, and he shook his head vigorously, pleading with me, but I didn't even acknowledge it, and just stood above the bow, arrow at the ready.

"Alec..." Magnus protested, but it sounded as if the words had got stuck in his throat.

I let the arrow fly through his heart in one swift movement, but it took me more than 10 minutes to move from the spot after the arrow had hit it's target.

I sank to the ground, crying.

* * *

I don't remember much after that, I remember Magnus wrapping his arms around me, and then nothing.

I didn't even hear the canon of the boy I had killed.

I was a murderer. I am a murderer, and there was a chance my little brother had seen it all.

* * *

 **Magnus POV**

Alec struggled in his sleep. He thrashed and muttered and writhed, and I had to shake him awake every time. He was feverish again, the heat of the desert getting to him.

When we awoke he was shivering and tired, resting his spine against the walls of the cave. He needed to get used to the climate, because regardless of Alec's discomfort, this cave was our biggest asset.

But we didn't have anything to drink, and I was getting worried. Alec was exhausted, and if he had to go much longer without water, or if we both did we would soon die.

Alec looked over at me with lazy eyes, half lidded eyes that couldn't really see me very well, no doubt his vision was blurry.

"We need water." I said, taking Alec's hand and kissing it softly, a gesture that I was there, nothing more. His skin was burning hot.

"I know." He whispered. "Bring me the bags will you?" He asked quietly, his throat rasping and sore, his eyes haunted.

I watched in silence as Alec took the stones out of the bag we had collected, the plastic bag and the water bottle.

He arranged it so that the plastic bag was balanced over the stones, and a smaller stone rested over the top of the strip of plastic he had torn, and this lay over the water bottle. A strange contraption, but I watched entranced, as water droplets slowly began to drip into the bottle.

* * *

It took a while, but eventually the water vapour in the air condensed along the plastic and filled the bottle.

I had made several copies of Alec's basic contraption, filling any sort of container we had, and by the end of it we had more water than we would ever need.

Alec drank too quickly though, his stomach rebelling against him and threatening to bring it all back up.

Luckily he kept it down, but there were tears in his eyes from the effort and he looked exhausted.

* * *

Later that night Alec lay on top of the sleeping bag once again, despairing against the warm temperature, but I could see him adjusting, he was in nowhere near as much pain as he had been beforehand.

Time passed in silence.

"Magnus?" He whispered.

"Yes darling?"

"Am I a murderer?"

"No of course not darling."

"But I killed that boy Magnus."

"He wanted you too love, I'm sure it's different if there's consent."

"But Magnus... He's dead... I killed him... What if Max saw that?" He demanded, covering his eyes with his hands in despair.

"Alec, you are not a murderer, you did what you thought was right. There's nothing wrong with that." I said, but I could see Alec was already falling asleep.

* * *

 _The night is plagued with nightmares, always, always nightmares. But it'll be over soon. I won't be here forever, I just have to keep Magnus safe._

* * *

"I just have to keep you safe." I whispered into Alec's hair, even though I know he couldn't hear me.

 **A/N: This is choppy I know, but I wanted you to have something for now, might delete it later, I know it's awful. But I've had a bit of a weird weekend. I'll talk to you all later. I'm really tired, and people just don't deserve to die. Ever. Goodnight. I've chaned around the POV's so hopefully now this makes more sense, and the water contraption I mentioned early would actually work, look it up. :) I did my research people.**


End file.
